


Letters To A Friend

by ginar369



Series: The Letters Series [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1652297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginar369/pseuds/ginar369
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike makes a different decision during Lover's Walk and finds friendship, acceptance and even love. Eventually Spuffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> This story is dedicated to my beta: Sweetprinciple. Without your help and encouragement this would never be here. I also want to thank hulettwyo for being a beta too. I appreciate your help. Any errors or if it's just plain bad, blame me.

He was bloody well pissed. Pissed beyond the telling. And not the good kind of pissed that came from a bottle or two of JD. When he got out of here, someone was going to pay in the most painful and creative ways he could think of.

Spike couldn't believe it. His first day back in Sunnyhell in almost a year and he gets captured by these commando gits. They didn't even take him down in a fair fight! No, they zapped him from behind with some ray gun and knocked him out like a bunch of cowardly nancy wankers. Locked him in a cage and were using him like a bloody lab rat. Cutting him up, breaking his bones and then not feeding him to see how long it would take him to heal.

Why he kept coming back to this soddin’ town was a mystery, nothing good ever happened to him here. Okay, that was a lie - he knew why. He’d come back last year trying to convince Dru to take him back. Oh, for months after the Acathla thing he’d listened to her tell him over and over again how he was covered in the Slayer. Ha, covered in the Slayer! Ridiculous! Sure, he might have wondered how she’d made out against the poof, but still, that shouldn't be enough for Dru to get so barmy. The pixies telling her he's covered in the sunshine. And seriously, Dru must be nuts, right? Saying how all his kills lately are petite blonds. Crazy, right? Completely sack of hammers, she is. So he didn't kill the Slayer, even helped her in the end. But that was for Dru. What good is it if the world is sucked into hell? That was the problem with Dru; she didn't see or think long term, just what her 'pixies' told her. And right now he really didn't care what the bleedin’ pixies said.  
Spike paced the bright white cell, casting poisonous looks at the teenaged blonde in his mind's eye. All right, he supposed he did miss fighting the Slayer, and she did smell really good. He stopped suddenly, his eyes wide and unbelieving. Ugh, what the hell? Wasn't supposed to smell like sunshine and lust, she should smell of fear, of prey, of the third jewel in his crown. Dru's brand of crazy was rubbing off on him!

Spike threw himself down in the corner, ignoring yet another bag of drugged blood as it dropped a few feet away from him. He couldn't possibly be. No, no way! Oh, shit! Sunshine, she smelled of sunshine. No! Not possible! Dru can't be right! Oh bollocks, he was falling for the Slayer. His unlife was officially over. He had tried to do something to prove Dru wrong, but nothing he’d tried had worked. So he figured if he killed the Slayer then Dru would have to see how much he loves her, right? She'd have to take him back and this whole weird "wantin' the Slayer" thing would end. Right?

Spike sighed as the memories of last year came back to him.

Last November….

He’d searched all over the hell hole that was this town and couldn't find the blonde bint anywhere, so he’d grabbed Red. She was powerful, could smell the magic in her. Figured a good love spell and bob's your uncle.

Except the little chit wouldn't stop talking. God save him from chatty women, he always knew they'd be the death of him. Red wanted to know why he needed the spell and kept at him until he spilled his guts.

"So I'm strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she's making out with a chaos demon! And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said, 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know? Our love was eternal, you know?"

"There, there," the witch patted him awkwardly. "There, there," she said stiffly, but she'd stopped trying to pull away from him. That was what made him cry harder. Dru'd pulled away from him, too. Now he was reduced to this. This pitiful, sobbing wretch, crying on what should've been dinner, and ‘dinner’ was trying to soothe him, even as scared as she was. Could his unlife be any more sad?

Love's Bitch, that was him. Crying on Red's shoulder like a ponce. Spike, Slayer of Slayers, a Master Vamp, crying on a little girl's shoulder. It was too much, screw the spell. He figured killing the Slayer would be enough, so he'd let Red go. It was time to find the Slayer.

He’d spent another two hours looking all over town for her and finally had gone to her house. She wasn't there either, but her mum, Joyce, was. Remembered him even, and invited him inside. Nice woman, that Joyce. She offered him some hot chocolate. Next thing he knew, the whole sordid tale came spilling out again!  
"She just left, Joyce. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire." He sniffled miserably into his cocoa. "I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt!" He sniffed in sharply, eyes red and wet as he looked at Joyce's matronly look of sympathy.

"What happened, Spike?" Joyce reached out and patted his elbow as it rested on the table.

"I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting."

"I can't imagine."

"She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends!" Leaning over, he sobbed on Joyce's shoulder. "God, I'm so unhappy! Friends! How can we be friends? I devoted a hundred years to her!"

"There, there," Joyce murmured.

"Why the bloody hell do people insist on sayin' that? What the hell does it mean?" Joyce looked taken aback and he apologized. "Oh. Oh sod it, I'm sorry, luv. You've been more than kind. I'm jus' such a mess and…"

"From what I see, it's her loss, Spike. You spent a century loving her and taking care of her. If she can't see that or appreciate it then she’s the one who’s wrong. Maybe it's time for you to find someone who can and will appreciate you. Try living life for you, not to please someone else. Find out who you are and who you want to be…"

The kitchen door banged open, cutting her off mid conversation, and there stood Angel. He had come over to go patrolling with Buffy and had spotted Spike in the kitchen with Joyce.

Everything happened at once. Angel was screaming and yelling as he pounded on the barrier, unable to enter. "Joyce, you can't trust him! Invite me in!"   
Joyce jumped up and screamed then ran behind Spike. "Don't let him in!"

Angel yelled, "Get away from him, Joyce, he's a killer, he's dangerous! Let me in, Joyce. Invite me in NOW!" In his anger, Angel vamped out, scaring Joyce even further. Spike could hear her heart rate soar and smelled the fear rolling off her.

Something woke up in him. Maybe it wasn't having Dru to protect, or maybe it was because it had been weeks since he'd been ‘needed.’ "Clear off, Peaches," Spike warned his grandsire with a sharp threat in his tone.

"Oh God, it’s Angelus! It's not Angel! Get away from here!" Joyce yelled at the brunette vampire. Something in Spike took over, even more than just that protective instinct. This was more. It was personal. In a flash he put a finger on it. She reminded him of his mum, a real lady, but a fighter.

More than that even. For the first time in a long time, someone had been kind to him, had been a friend to him. He hadn't had that from anyone except his mother. He turned to Joyce and said loud and clear, "Don't worry, Joyce, I won't let him hurt you." He wasn't sure if it was Angel or Angelus, but either way, Joyce seemed to be afraid of him and that was enough for Spike.

And just as he was about to get to be the hero for the first time in, well – ever, Buffy came along and stole his glory.

Buffy had come in through the front door and heard her mother's scream and Spike's reply. As she rushed into the room she saw her mother hiding behind Spike, one hand on his arm. Spike was in a defensive position in front of Joyce, guarding her against Angel. 

After doing a double take straight out of a bad cartoon, she found her voice. "What do you want Spike?" she demanded, eyes narrowing. Angel was still outside the house, yelling and pounding on the barrier that kept him out. She ignored him for the moment.

Spike watched old broody's face darken when Buffy didn't speak to him first or immediately invite him in. He wanted to snicker at that, he knew just how much it brassed off Captain Forehead to be ignored. "Came back to town to get Red to do a spell for me, but I changed my mind. So I figured I’d come here, we’d fight, and hopefully you'd put me out of my misery. Or I could put you out of yours." He nodded pointedly at the enraged Angel. "Dru dumped me, and for a bleedin' chaos demon, no less! Still brassed off about the truce, mad that her 'Daddy's' gone again. Blames me for helpin’ you take care of the big poof over there." As he was speaking, Joyce slowly relaxed but didn't let go of his arm.

"Buffy, invite me in before he attacks your mom!" Angel yelled from the doorway. His teeth clenched when Buffy still didn't react immediately. "Buffy. Listen to me. Now."

See, now if the girl had been Angel's enemy, then he'd have a right to speak to her like that, but she’s his lover. The love of his life, presumably. And well, in Spike's opinion, you don’t talk to your girl that way. Besides, attack Joyce? He'd sooner attack his own mum. Balls. Bad comparison. Spike glared him down, puffing out his smaller chest. "Listen, you bleedin' arse, I've been here over an hour now and there’s not a scratch on her, is there? That's your style, not mine, you ponce." He sneered then he turned to Joyce and gave her a wink and a reassuring smile. "Joyce here's a nice lady.” He turned to face both Joyce and Buffy as he said, “I won't hurt her, give you my word." 

"Did I stumble into the twilight zone?" Buffy finally asked, looking at her boyfriend being a jerk, her enemy defending her mother, and her mother - Queen of that river in Egypt - fully participating in a Slayer-iffic event.

"No, honey, Spike and I were just talking while he was waiting for you to get home," Joyce explained gently. She saw no reason to remind anyone that it was a visit with the purpose of dueling to the death.

"Yeah, an' your mum's helped me sort that problem anyway, so I'm gonna get goin’. Thanks for the hot chocolate and the chat, Joyce, I'll think ‘bout what you said. Be seein' ya, Slayer, Peaches. Leave you two love birds alone."

"We aren't together anymore, we're just friends," Buffy announced, more for her mother's benefit than her own.

"Ha!" Spike looked at the pair of them and start sweeping toward the living room, taking the exit farthest from Angel.

"What do you mean, 'ha'?" Buffy chased after him.

"I mean, 'Ha!' You can't be friends, not anymore. You might love each other or hate each other, but you’ll never be friends. Love doesn't make sense, pet. Love isn't calm and steady. Love is love, screaming in your head, burning in your veins. That's what love is." With a swish of his coat, he was out the front door in a flash.


	2. Chapter 2

As Spike mused on the events of last November, he wondered what kind of fireworks had occurred after he’d left that night. He spent a lot of time musing on that night. It was one of the last times he felt things might turn around.

Wonder what I missed... would've loved to see Angel's face when Buffy set him straight. An' if she didn't, I know Joyce had to." Smiling softly, Spike huddled further into his coat and fell into a fitful sleep.

What Spike missed after he left...

Angel was still outside when Buffy returned from seeing Spike out and he started yelling at her again. "Why am I still out here?" he began, "Why am I out here and Spike was inside? What the hell was that?"

"Angel, wait-"

"No! Buffy, you invited Spike into your house! That's… that's stupid!"

"Excuse me?" Buffy's voice tightened dangerously, but Angel was too worked up to notice.

"Buffy, why would you ever invite Spike into your house? I can't believe you were so irresponsible! You're the Slayer, Buffy! You can't go around inviting vamps into your house!"

"Now hang on," Joyce weighed in, but Buffy stopped her, holding up a hand as a cold feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. She slowly approached the man she'd once loved so much. How dare he scold her like a child! Like he had no faith in her abilities. And God, in front of her mom? The guy had no relationship IQ. Was this how he’d always treated me? Like a child who didn't know her own mind? Filing that thought away for examination later, she came back to the conversation.  
Buffy spoke coolly as she strode to the door to come face to face with her ex-lover through an invisible barrier. "I invited Spike into my house because we both wanted to stop you! Remember how you tried to end the world? He came to me, asked for a truce because it seems Spike actually likes the world exactly how it is."  
Angel calmed down marginally, but still looked like he was struggling to hold the demon back. "Fine. You had a reason. But you forgot to disinvite him? You gave a guy with a reputation for killing Slayers a free pass into your house? He could've murdered your mother!"

"Spike could have, but he didn't. That’s not what he does. When he wants to hurt someone, he hurts them. He doesn't go around murdering Buffy's classmates and teachers, or torturing poor Mr. Giles instead!" Joyce spat, coming up behind Buffy protectively, fire in her eyes. Angel had the good grace to look ashamed and apologetic, but Joyce wasn’t buying it. "Don't try the puppy dog eyes look on me, mister. That works if you break a glass - not a woman's neck."

Buffy saw a side she rarely witnessed in her mother. Go Mom, she thought, impressed with her mother's strength, before turning her focus back to Angel. “I think I will take your advice on one thing, though. You're right; I shouldn't invite any vamps in. So I won't be inviting you in - ever again." Buffy slowly shut the door in his surprised face. "Go home, Angel. Go home and leave us alone. I have to take care of my mother. Some vampire scared the crap out of her. Guess which one." She shot him a glacial glare.

But Angel wouldn't let go of the door, using his massive strength to hold it halfway open. "Look, I'm sorry, and I know I can't make up for things Angelus did, or for scaring you tonight - but you can't trust Spike. Joyce - letting Spike in will get you killed. He might not be like me, but he's worse in his own way! He has no soul, he's violent, vicious, a killer."

Joyce turned towards him and gasped, "How dare you talk to me and my daughter that way? Spike has never threatened me. In fact, both times he’s been in this house, he’s been the perfect gentleman with me. Unlike you, bragging how you took my daughter's virginity and scaring me, breaking down my door just now."  
"That wasn't me," Angel protested in a whiny voice.

"Sure looked like you." Joyce walked away from the kitchen, spine stiff, anger in every line of her frame. "Spike is welcome here. Buffy can do what she wants, but this is my home too, and I say he's always to be treated as a guest in our house."

Buffy watched as her mother left the room. "Angel, don't ever speak to my mom that way again." She left to follow her mother, and after a few moments of stunned silence, Angel finally left, too.


	3. Chapter 3

Spike woke up with a jolt, all thoughts of the past fleeing as the horror of the present consumed him. He could hear screams from a few cells down – horrible, ear-splitting, set your fangs on edge sounds – and then everything got quiet. A few minutes later, two soldiers walked by dragging the body of a dead demon. He knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be screaming out his final agony, only there wouldn’t be anything to drag once he’d stopped, just a pile of dust to sweep up. Taking the escape his memories allowed, Spike again thought back to the days after he’d left Sunnydale the last time.

After the scene at the Slayer’s house, he’d wandered around for a while, traveling. He’d sent Joyce a postcard thanking her for listening to him that night. 

 

Joyce,

I just wanted to thank you for the drink the other night. It was nice to have someone to talk to. 

Spike

 

He hadn’t expected a reply, actually he’d expected the Slayer to show up and stake him. But to his surprise, he’d gotten one back a few days later. 

 

Spike,

Stop by anytime you want to talk. You’re always welcome here.

Joyce

 

After that, he and Joyce had regularly exchanged postcards and letters. They’d talked about where he was, discussed art and literature, and his life (or unlife) and what he should do with it. 

 

Joyce,

I’ve been moving around a lot lately. I’m going to have a friend stop by your gallery and you can give him any letters you want to send me ‘till I settle down somewhere. His name is Clem and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

Spike

 

Joyce’s kind nature had gotten to him. It was like when he’d used to write his Mum while at university. It was that thought that had made him stop killing one day, cold turkey. He’d just put a letter to Joyce in the post and had grabbed a woman outside the post office for a late night snack. She’d screamed – and that scream had pierced his heart just as if it were Joyce screaming, as if it were his mother screaming all over again. 

He’d stammered, “Sorry, thought – thought you were someone else.” he’d let her go with a push and had hurried away. 

He’d ended up at the little abandoned hotel room he’d been crashing in without remembering how he’d gotten there. His mind had been a jumbled maelstrom of screaming Happy Meals and furious bloodlust. It wasn’t until he’d found himself face down on his rumpled bed that he’d realized the truth – he couldn’t kill anyone anymore. How the hell could he write a letter to his mother – or her embodiment – and then casually kill someone? It was unthinkable. What would he say? Dear Joyce, how’re you, just offed someone’s daughter, hope yours is well? What would she say?

If his mother had been alive, it would’ve killed her all over again. She hadn’t raised a murderer, whatever else he might be. Spike had grabbed the phonebook from the dilapidated dresser in the broken down room and had wearily started looking up the closest butcher shop.

After a few days Spike had realized that while bagging it wasn’t so bad – pig’s blood didn’t taste too horrible if you doctored it up – he still had a problem. His belly was full and he generally felt sated, but since he’d stopped killing, he was starting to crave the violence, the brawling, the blood and gore and triumph. After a week or so of jonesing like a junkie desperate for a fix, he’d finally hit on a solution, and even though it went against his very nature, eliminating demons in the towns he was in curbed those cravings. He’d found his groove and after a few weeks of his newly turned leaf, Spike found that he could write to Joyce with the cleanest conscious he’d had in years.

 

Spike,

Have you been watching Passions? Can you believe what’s going on? Did you know Timmy was a doll? 

How have you been? I got a new art shipment in this week. I took your advice and had Clem ask around and there are quite a few demons in town that paint and even one or two that do sculptures. I’ve displayed some of them and even sold a few! I loved the poem you sent me. I hope you don’t mind, but when I read it, I thought it just went so well with a painting that we had at the gallery that I had the painter incorporate it into the painting. He (at least I think it was a he) agreed to share the profits with the writer (I didn’t tell them who sent it to me), so I have enclosed your portion of the profit. 

I was glad to hear that you’ve decided to stop killing. You have choices in your life. You decide what to do, no one else. I’m proud of you, Spike, and I bet your mother would be, too. I was flattered when you told me in your last letter how much I remind you of her. She must have been a great woman.

Anyway, on to other local news. Apparently the mayor was some sort of demon and tried to eat the graduating class, but Buffy and her friends stopped him. They had to blow up the high school to do it though. She’s been awfully sad though, because Angel left town right after the battle. I spoke with him shortly before that and told him I didn’t think he was right for her. I guess he agreed, because he only stayed long enough to help against the mayor.

Your friend,

Joyce

*~*

Joyce,

I couldn’t believe it either, Timmy a doll! I’m tellin’ ya, that show should win an Emmy, fine piece of entertainment it is. 

I’m glad you liked the poem, no one since my Mum has liked my poetry. Please tell me that no one knows I wrote the one in the gallery? 

Heard about the mayor turning into a giant snake, sounds like fun! Blowin’ up the school and all. 

It took me a while, but you were right. I get to decide what kind of life I want and I just couldn’t do it anymore. Every woman I saw reminded me of you and I just couldn’t. I just hope you’re right and the do-gooder life will actually give me some kind of meaning. I mean, when I was with Dru I had a purpose ya’ know? Taking care of her, being the biggest, baddest vamp for her, crashing and bashing for her. But without her to take care of, I’m lost. Although fightin’ demons has been right fun! You were right; they are a much better fight than a human! See where your daughter gets her killer instinct. 

So, baggin’ it isn’t so bad, okay I’m lyin’ – it’s bleedin’ terrible, but I mix it with some stuff and it tastes okay. Still tryin’ to figure out what to do with the rest of my unlife. Can’t keep lazin’ about, wanderin’ from town to town. Lookin’ to put down some roots, get a nice place. I heard a story ‘bout a treasure. I’m gonna check into it and if it’s real, you might see me soon. Might even have you sell off a few pieces for me. Can I stop by for a cuppa?

Spike

~*~

Spike,

Just let me know when and I’ll have it hot and ready for you, with the little marshmallows. It will be so good to see you again. I hope you can stop by the gallery and see all the new art. A treasure, huh? I would be happy to sell it for you. See you soon.

Joyce

 

Just last week, after he’d gotten her last letter, he’d decided that he was bored and lonely with the wandering life and had started making his way back to Sunnydale. He and Joyce had developed a friendship of sorts. She was his first human friend… ever, really. Even before he’d gotten turned, poor wimpy William – scholarly and meek, trying to express himself by writing crap poetry, being laughed at by his peers and the woman he loved from afar – had been friendless. 

Now, knowing that he had a friend ate away some of the loneliness, but he’d still wanted to see her in person. Plus, his research had said that the treasure was in Sunnyhell and part of the treasure was the Gem of Amarra, fabled to let vamps walk in the sun and make them practically invincible. No more schlepping thru the sewers to get around town during the day and he could go to the beach for the first time in over a century.

His first stop had been Joyce’s art gallery. He’d walked in, giving a sexy smirk to the bird behind the counter, and had gone right over to Joyce. Throwing an arm over her shoulder, the two had started talking animatedly. They gotten caught up since their last letter and had chatted about their favorite show, Passions. Joyce had told him what had been happening in town, and that Buffy was attending UC Sunnydale, and how proud she was of her daughter. Spike had talked about the museums he’d visited and had commented on the work she had displayed. They’d laughed and joked for over an hour. 

“Joyce, after I get settled, do you think you could help me talk to Buffy and her watcher? I’ve been thinkin’ about what we talked about, and I think I could be of some use around here. I mean, it is the Hellmouth, there’s got to be some big nasty just lookin’ for a fight.” He’d winked, then gave her that charming, boyish smile that had lured so many, and now was being used to butter her up for the good. “I figure you might help ease my way a bit?” 

“You get settled and I’ll set it up, Spike. I think this could be home for you,” Joyce had said with a smile. 

“Well, I hope so. It’d make sense, since my only friends, you an’ Clem, live here. I’ll say goodnight, Joyce, and I’ll come by tomorrow, hopefully with good news after my house hunting. Gonna see Willy, he has the line on all the properties available for demons in this town.”

“Good night, Spike.” Impulsively, Joyce had kissed his cheek as if he were her son then had smoothed back the already tightly gelled hair. “Good luck with the search.” 

“I’ll let you know how it goes.” He’d waved as he left the gallery, a huge grin on his face.

Unfortunately, he never did get to look for a house. He’d only gone a few blocks before the night had exploded in an electric blue arc of light and a world of pain. He’d woken up in a whole new kind of pain, with only his memories of Joyce to ease the hurt.


	4. Chapter 4

Spike’s musings were interrupted when the cage door opened and he was hit with a tazer blast that knocked him into unconsciousness. His last thought as he slipped into darkness was, ‘Bloody buggerin’ hell, I’m gonna kill these gits when I get out of here. I just won’t let Joyce know.’

Meanwhile…. §

 

“Buffy can I talk to you?” Joyce’s nervous and upset voice stopped her daughter as she was going up the stairs.

“Sure Mom, what’s up?” Buffy replied as she came into the living room.

“I need you to listen to me; don’t say anything until I’m done, please?” At Buffy’s nod, Joyce started talking.

“I’ve been keeping in touch with Spike. He’s changed, Buffy, he is changing. I know he’ll always be a vampire, but I think he could be more. He could be good. Just - just look at these for me.” When she finished, she showed Buffy the postcards and letters she and Spike had exchanged. 

When Buffy finished reading them all, she looked at her mom. “Okay - so you’ve been in touch with Spike. I don’t know why exactly or if I like it but, what’s up?” Buffy looked at her mom, taking in her worried frown. 

“He’s back in town; he stopped by two weeks ago at the gallery and we talked for over an hour. He said he’d be by the next day to let me know where he was staying, but I haven’t seen him since. Buffy, something’s wrong. I stopped by Willy’s the other night to see if Clem had a letter or had heard from Spike, and Willy told me that there are soldiers capturing demons in town. A few have escaped and the things they say are being done… oh, Buffy, it’s horrible. What if they have Spike?” Joyce’s voice rose in panic as she spoke.

“What were you doing going to Willy’s? How do you even know about that place?” Buffy jumped up from the couch, now equally panicked, but for different reasons.

“Spike asked Clem to give me some letters when he was traveling and I went to Willy’s once in a while to pick them up. Willy told me that Spike had made it perfectly clear that no one was to touch me or Spike would come back here and kill them. Slowly.” 

“That’s - actually really wiggy, Mom, but -”

“But that isn’t the point, Buffy. Spike said he would be back, but he hasn’t called, come by, or written and I’m worried about him.” Joyce held up her hand to stop Buffy from talking. “He’s my friend, Buffy, I probably know him better than you do. After all, I have been talking to him for months now. You read the letters, he didn’t hide anything about himself, didn’t lie either. We’re friends and I’m worried about my friend. Can you or Giles try to find him?”

Buffy knew her mother was upset - and you didn’t try to argue with her when she was upset. “Okay Mom, let me call the gang over here and you can tell them everything and we’ll see what we can do. I’m not doing this for Spike - because I don’t trust him like you do - but if there really are humans capturing and experimenting on demons then I need to know about it.” Buffy turned towards the phone and started making calls. 

When the gang arrived, Buffy told them that they were going to listen to her mother and no one was going to say anything until her story was done. As Joyce spoke, Buffy had to glare at Xander to shut him up quite a few times. Anya got more and more upset when Joyce started talking about the soldiers, and Giles seemed to be listening while he polished his glasses. Willow just looked horrified and Oz stayed quiet, but looked upset. 

“Joyce, while I have no idea how you became pen pals with William the Bloody, I do admit that what has happened is very disturbing,” Giles said as he put his glasses back on.

“Willy told me the soldiers are taking even the peaceful demons, Rupert. Clem’s brother was taken and he found his body last week. They’d cut him open and removed his organs. Clem’s family was devastated.” Joyce looked at the group. Anya gasped and covered her mouth, but the rest just looked puzzled and mildly upset.

“Okay Mom, who’s Clem?” 

“Oh, he’s a very nice man - I suppose I should say demon - that brought me Spike’s letters. He’s very sweet. If you want, I can call him and have him come over. He’ll be able to tell you more,” Joyce replied to a shell-shocked group of Scoobies. 

“Wait. You know demons on a first name basis?” Xander questioned. 

“Why didn’t I know this, Mom?” Buffy looked at her mom in a new light.

“Buffy, you don’t want me involved with your slaying and I’ve respected that, but Clem wouldn’t harm a human, so I didn’t tell you about him. He isn’t a vampire and actually doesn’t eat humans. Besides, you haven’t been around much - what with college and living at the dorms - for us to talk about this stuff. And I know it makes you uncomfortable.” Joyce got up from the couch. “Now wait, I have his number. I put it next to Willy’s and that nice old warlock who erased my parking ticket... hang on, I think I put them on the fridge, not in my purse...”

As Joyce tracked down the numbers and called Clem, she didn’t see the looks of surprise and bewilderment the group had on their faces. 

Half an hour later, a floppy skinned demon rang the door bell. Joyce opened it and Clem walked in. He waved shyly at the group and looked at Buffy nervously. “Hi, Slayer.” 

Joyce introduced Clem to everyone, but before they could start talking, Anya jumped up, her agitation getting the best of her. “What if they want former demons? I don’t want to be captured! What about you, Buffy, aren’t you worried? They might try to find out why you’re so strong and how you heal so fast. Or… or how about Oz, huh? He’s a werewolf three days a month. Or even Willow since she’s a witch. We could all be in danger.”

Xander jumped up to try and calm her down. “Sweetie, easy, easy. Come here; let’s get you a nice big glass of water - and maybe a sedative.” He led her to the kitchen, the last part said quietly under his breath.

While Xander was calming Anya down, Clem passed an envelope to Giles. Giles blanched when he saw the pictures inside. The group noticed his reaction and walked over to look at the pictures. A demon that looked a lot like Clem was cut to bits. Stomach and chest were sliced open, organs were missing, fingers cut off. Skin had been peeled from his skull, and his skull had holes drilled into it. His face had been cut opened and there was obviously something missing.

Clem’s voice cracked as he spoke. “Friend of mine escaped yesterday. He came to see me today, he was leaving town. He told me that the soldiers did that to my brother. He also had a message for you, Joyce, from Spike. The soldiers got him, but he’s going to try to get out. He said he’s thinking of you.” At this point, Joyce started to feel her throat tighten and she leaned on Buffy, who was surprised to see tears glinting in her mother’s eyes. She knew then that she had to help. No one made her mom cry.

“Anything else?” Giles asked, between the pictures and the obvious distress coming from both Joyce and Clem, moving him to prompt gently. 

“Yeah, but - not to Joyce so much. Just what my friend passed on. Spike says he doesn’t know what they did to him, but they keep cutting open his head. Tom, my friend, said some of the demons had surgery done on them while they were awake, and the scientists put something in their heads. Afterwards they had no control over their actions. The scientists and soldiers would force them to fight each other, controlling their actions to test out the ‘chip,’ but for some reason it didn’t seem to work on Spike. Tom overheard the scientists saying that it might be because Spike is such an old vampire and he has more control over himself then the fledglings.”

A muttered, “Behavior modification,” from Giles momentarily distracted the group.

Clem continued, “They’re also taking the peaceful demons and removing their defensive weapons. That’s what they did to my brother.”

“What exactly did they take, Clem?” Giles asked softly, realizing it must be painful for the floppy skinned demon to speak of. 

“Nobody freak, okay?” Clem said just before a bunch of snake like things popped out of his face. Xander screamed, Willow eep’d, and Anya and Joyce just chuckled. 

Buffy looked at Clem and asked, “What exactly do they do?”

“Well they scare people, and that’s usually enough, you know? But they can release a spray that makes your eyes burn and water for a little while. My species aren’t very good fighters, we prefer to run while you can’t see. They cut them out of him,” Clem answered her, voice barely above a whisper on the last words. He steadied his voice with an effort. “I don’t know if this will help but, I managed to get away from the soldiers the other day. I overheard them talking and I caught a few names. Finn and Forrest were the only names I got.”

“That’s a big help,” Joyce reassured him, touching his shoulder. Buffy almost fell over backwards. Her mom was touching demons like it was no big deal. “We’re going to look into this. If anyone can stop those people from hurting demons like you and your brother, it’s my daughter and her friends. You should stay for dinner, Clem. It’s not good to be on your own after the loss of a loved one, you should be around friends.”

“Thanks, Joyce, but I gotta get going. It’s close to dark, and that’s when the soldiers come out. I don’t want to get caught.” Clem waved goodbye, and after a hug from Joyce, hurriedly left.

“Buffy, isn’t Riley Finn the name of the TA in Prof. Walsh’s class? The one you went on a picnic with? Do you think it might be him?” Willow turned to Buffy, breaking the silence Clem had left behind him.

“Might be, Wills. I guess I have to find a way inside and figure out what’s going on.”


	5. Chapter 5

The gang got together for planning sessions every day for the next few days. They decided that since Riley Finn had showed an interest in Buffy she would ‘accidentally’ run into him while he was on his patrol and let him see her on patrol. They figured that if he saw her then Buffy could explain that she was the Slayer and it might be enough to get a peek at the military base. It took a few days for the timing to work out, but eventually Riley found out that Buffy was the Slayer. He took her to see his boss, Prof. Walsh. The professor asked Buffy to come see their installation, telling her that they were very proud of it and how much good they were doing for humanity.

§

With a groan, Spike started swimming towards consciousness. There wasn’t a spot on him that didn’t hurt. He wondered how long he’d been out of it. “Oi, mate? How long was I out?” Spike asked groggily to the vamp in the cell across the hall. 

He was sickened to hear the reply of, “A week.”

“Bloody hell,” Spike grunted and started to work against the pain, trying to get himself up. He was determined to get out here this week even if he had to kill everyone in the place - or himself. But he couldn’t go on like this. He needed a plan and a bit of luck.

A commotion from the other cells drew Spike’s attention; yells of ‘Slayer’ could be heard. Some of the demons even started begging the slayer to put them out of their misery. Spike struggled to sit up and find out what was going on. He looked up in time to see Buffy walking past the cells with the soldier Spike had nicknamed Captain Cardboard walking stiffly next to her. She stopped in front of his cell and asked what had been done to him. As Finn told her, Spike could see the Slayer getting angry. He even swore he heard her growl as they turned and left. He collapsed on his back and tried to get some sleep to build up his strength, wondering if she was angry that he was back in town or because she’d found out he was talking to her mom. It never crossed his mind that she was angry about what had been done to him and the rest of the demons.

After seeing all the demons in the cells and what had been done to them, Buffy was livid. As she gave her report to Giles, he got more and more agitated. Slaying evil harmful demons was one thing, but the things Buffy was telling him were an abomination. She’d pretend to Riley and Walsh that she was okay with what they were doing, all the while asking questions and trying to find out more information. The gang had regular meetings to discuss what Buffy learned from each patrol and trip into the base. 

At just such a meeting, Buffy was telling the group that Professor Walsh had seemed very upset when she’d caught Buffy poking around a room that only the Professor went in. Just then, Buffy’s new Initiative pager went off. With a quick goodbye, Buffy went to find out what ‘mission’ she was being sent on. When she came back a few hours later, Buffy was in full Slayer rant mode.

“Giles, that woman tried to kill me! She sent me after two demons, harmless she says. Gives me a weapon that doesn’t work and those demons weren’t harmless or peaceful! Then she tells Riley that I disobeyed her and went after them myself and that I refused backup and left without any weapons and was killed!” Buffy was yelling at the group assembled in her living room. “I am so beyond pissed right now, but I saw Spike again, Mom. I couldn’t talk to him, but I know he saw me.”

“We have to do something. First Spike, and now you. These people are dangerous, worse than the demons.” Joyce wrung her hands. “I don’t understand. If they were capturing demons to find out how to kill the different kinds it would make some sense. But that isn’t what they’re doing. They’re torturing them, what is the purpose of that? Spike and the rest must be in horrible pain. How can they cause such pain in another being and ignore it? Doesn’t it bother any of them?” 

Giles was galvanized by the sight of two of his favorite women in such obvious distress. And no one touched his Slayer. “Joyce, may I use your phone? It’s a long distance call,” Giles asked. At her nod, he grabbed the phone and entered the kitchen to have his conversation. The gang only heard parts of his side of the conversation that included words like, ‘tried to kill the only active slayer, demon experimentation, military involvement.’

When he returned, Willow was the first to speak up, “Guys, I have an idea. Do you think the demons like Clem would help us do a raid on the place? We can release the nice ones and stake the evil ones?” Willow was practically bouncing on the couch.

“But what about the soldiers? We can’t do anything to them. They’re still human – they’re just sucking at it,” Xander added.

“A raid is exactly what we’re going to do. I just spoke with the Council. Even though they couldn’t care less about me - they know they cannot allow this sort of thing. They’ll be going through channels to have the place shut down, but they need us to take care of the demons in captivity,” Giles explained with a sigh. “Anya, we’ll need you to come with us. You have the most knowledge about demons in the group. We’ll need you to tell us which are dangerous and which ones can be released safely.” Giles turned to Willow. “Willow, if you could try to hack in and find out what experiments have been done, that might help us decide which, if any, demons can be released.” Willow nodded and Giles turned to Joyce wearing a smile that he sincerely hoped was reassuring. “Give me a little time, Joyce. I promise - we’ll get Spike out.”


	6. Chapter 6

The Friday after Thanksgiving, the gang went in. The council had already informed the military brass of the situation, and that meant that there were only a few MP’s guarding the doors of the facility. Giles held a brief conversation with the MP and they were in. The plans Willow had found by hacking their system allowed them to find everything very easily. It was very grim work, some demons were so far gone that even though they weren’t harmful the group felt it would be kinder to put them out of their pain. The harmful demons were taken care of by Buffy. They eventually found Spike and used a stretcher they’d found to take him out of there. 

“Did your mum send you?” Spike asked in a faint voice.

“Kinda.” Buffy winced at his appearance. He didn’t look like any of the other demons; he looked – battered - more than operated on. “What happened to you?” she murmured.

“Kept tryin’ to escape, but I can’t hit humans anymore. Put somethin’ in my head.” He gestured vaguely to his cranium. “But they can hit me. I hit ‘em anyway, but it’s like fireworks inside - up close and personal.”

“Well - don’t worry about hitting anyone right now. We’re under Mom’s orders to play nice.” Buffy smiled.

“Knew I liked Joyce,” Spike muttered and fell asleep.

When the gang found the room that Buffy had previously been snooping around what they found inside made them all shudder in revulsion. There on a surgery table was what could only be called a monstrosity. Demon and human parts combined with what appeared to be a computer imbedded in its chest. But the head was the worst, half human half demon stitched together. The gang couldn’t figure out if it had a demon or human brain inside the pieced together skull. It might have even had both. Willow went to the computer console in the corner of the room and started typing immediately. Reams of paper started printing and what it said made them sick. This thing was supposed to be the next super soldier, pieced together from the soldiers that worked there and the demons they had been capturing. The gang realized that they had saved the lives of all the men and women that worked there from becoming like this.

Spike was in bad shape when they got him back to Revello Drive. Both of his legs were broken as were most of his fingers and quite a few ribs. He had deep wounds on his abdomen and healing scars over the rest of his body.

Joyce sent Willow and Xander out for blood while she and Buffy got him comfortable in the spare room. They splinted his broken bones and bandaged his other wounds; thankfully he was unconscious for all of it.

In the three weeks Spike spent recovering, Buffy was a frequent visitor. At first she wasn’t entirely trusting of Spike. Her first visit after the rescue didn’t go very well…

“Hey, Slayer, your mum’s not home right now,” Spike said as Buffy walked into the room he was recuperating in.

Grabbing the remote, she turned off the TV. “Shut up, Spike. I’m not here to see my mom. I came to make sure you aren’t planning anything evil in my house. I don’t trust you; you might have my mom fooled, but not me.” 

“Just how barmy are you, Slayer? Exactly what kind of evil can I get up to laid up in bed looking like I just went ten rounds with a M’Fashnik demon? Besides, I don’t do evil anymore, now gimme the remote and let a bloke heal in peace.”

Buffy stayed away from her mom’s house for a few days after that, but when she walked in the next time, what she heard really shocked her. Her mom and Spike were discussing literature! Poetry and Shakespeare, Buffy couldn’t believe it. “Spike knows poetry?” Buffy blurted out.

“Buffy! Yes, Spike knows poetry; he graduated from Oxford with degrees in Classic Literature and Languages before he was turned. He’s quite well read even since becoming a vampire. We were discussing a first edition book of poetry he has that he agreed to loan to me.” She smirked at her daughter. “If you ask nicely, he might help you with that assignment you have for your class.”

Feeling admonished by her mom, Buffy asked Spike for help. Surprisingly, Spike was really good at helping her understand the poem for the assignment, and the two talked for a while about different writers they liked.

Buffy started spending more time at the house. As Spike healed, he was able to get around better and Buffy found him watching TV one afternoon in the living room. 

“What are you watching?” she asked as she breezed into the room.

“Passions, best show on TV, recording it for your mum. Need help with an assignment?” Spike replied, not taking his eyes from the screen.

“Nope, I had some time to kill so I thought I’d come by.” After watching for a few minutes, Buffy started laughing.

“Oi, what are you laughing at?” Spike shot her a quick look.

“This is the best show on TV?” Buffy was trying to contain her snorts and giggles.

“Better than that tripe you watch,” Spike said with a huff.

Soon the two were comparing viewing preferences and arguing good-naturedly about musical tastes. 

The rest of the Scoobies stopped by often, including Giles. He found he liked having another Englishman around - even if they were from different centuries. Buffy kidded that as old fashioned as Giles acted; they might as well have been born in the same year. It was during one of Giles’ visits that Spike was finally able to explain in more detail what the Initiative was like. “Spike, the military destroyed most of their files, so we really don’t know everything that they were doing. If you could tell me what happened to you and what you saw, it will be a great help to us,” Giles politely inquired. Spike decided to tell him everything and they had several conversations about the labs. As time went on, the two found that they shared some musical tastes and even some literary preferences. 

Willow even brought her new friend Tara, who was also a witch, over to meet Spike. Spike took to the new girl right away, christening her Glinda, and went out of his way to be kind to her. He made a point of telling Willow that Tara was a right fine bird and he was sorry to hear that she and Oz hadn’t worked out.

The most fun visits were when the whelp and the demon girl visited. Anya and Spike hit it off right away. They talked about their bad demon days and how silly humans could be about things. Spike enjoyed making fun of Xander and the two constantly snarked at each other. At first, Anya had to tell Xander that Spike was new to the whole do-gooder thing just like she was, and he should be trying to help him, not being mean to him. 

When Spike had finally healed, he asked if Buffy wanted him to patrol for her one night. He needed to get out of the house and kill something. All that sitting around made him antsy. Buffy suggested that they go together and then go to the Bronze and meet up with the gang. 

“You want me to join you and your friends?” Spike asked in amazement. “Get hit on the head during patrol last night?

“You’re my friend too, Spike. So yeah, after patrol we Bronze it. It’s a Scooby tradition,” Buffy replied, rolling her eyes. “But if you want to be a part pooper...”

“It’s not a party without me, luv.” Spike smirked, and in spite of herself, Buffy smirked back.

The next night, Spike asked Joyce to call Giles, saying he needed to talk to both of them. When Giles arrived, Spike explained that he had made a decision after exchanging letters with Joyce and long talks with her and Buffy since he’d gotten out of the labs.

“Listen, Rupert, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and well – I’d like to help you lot out. I can patrol and help out with the big bads that come to town. Even give Buffy a night off once in awhile.” He went on to tell Giles about the treasure and what it contained. He explained that he knew it was going to take a while before they all trusted him, so he was willing to give Giles the gem to hold on to. He would leave it up to Giles when, or if, he would trust him with it. He asked Joyce to auction off the rest of the items so that he could get his own place to live. 

“Well, Spike, I know how Joyce feels about you and that she trusts you. It will take some time for me to trust you, but if you are sincere, I guess we can start with you helping Buffy on patrol and go from there. As for the ring, I have to admit at this point in time, I would be very uncomfortable with you having it in your possession. Given time we can revisit the issue. Is that acceptable?” Giles responded thoughtfully.

“Well, I hope you’ll be able to see what I see in Spike, Giles,” Joyce said with a smile on her face. “I trust Spike and I’m very proud of him. I know he can be a good man and a great help for my daughter and you with her calling.”

Giles was fairly certain that if vampires could blush Spike would be doing it right now hearing the praise coming from Ms. Summers.


	7. Chapter 7

After a few weeks of Spike digging for the treasure, he found it and Joyce held an auction. True to his word he gave Giles the ring for safe keeping. With the proceeds from the auction, Spike finally moved out, buying a townhouse not too far from Revello Drive. Joyce went with him to Willy’s to look at the property that was available. The two went to look at the townhouse together and Joyce offered to help him furnish it. Joyce made him promise to come by at least once a week for dinner. Buffy and Spike continued to patrol together and they hung out with the gang often. 

One night, while waiting for Buffy to come home to go on patrol, Spike and Joyce were enjoying their cup of cocoa, now a pre-slaying tradition. “So, Spike, how long have you been in love with my daughter?” Joyce asked with a smile.

Spike choked on a marshmallow. “Joyce, um… you’ve got it wrong. We’re just friends - that’s all, friends,” Spike stuttered. He really didn’t want another axe to the head, and Joyce was right protective of her daughter. Even though they were friends, he didn’t think Joyce would approve of his feelings for Buffy.

“Spike, I know you care about her, I can see it every time you look at her. Have you tried asking her out on a date?” Joyce pushed a little.

“No! I mean, no, Joyce. I told ya’ just friends, is all.” Spike drained his hot chocolate and put the mug in the sink. Making his way to the back door, he said goodnight to Joyce, not waiting for Buffy to patrol. In his hurry he missed the calculating look on Joyce’s face.

§

Joyce spent the next week working on her daughter, asking Buffy how she felt about Spike. Joyce wasn’t stupid, she knew Spike was a vampire, but she also knew that the chances of Buffy having a normal man in her life that could understand and respect her calling were practically impossible. She was also coming to understand that her dream for her daughter of getting married and having children wouldn’t happen. Buffy would always be in danger and a husband and children would be in danger too. Joyce was saddened by the thought of Buffy not having children but she wanted her daughter to be happy as happy as she could be. She liked Spike, and she figured that if Buffy and Spike fell in love both could have a good life together, one that even might extend her daughters life. With Spike by her side and fighting by her side Buffy might find some happiness in her life and with her calling. That Monday, Joyce waited for Buffy to stop over. Joyce figured subtle was the way to go in the beginning, so she asked Buffy if Spike was still helping her with her class work and how patrols were going with Spike helping her.

“Patrol has been great, Mom. Spike is a big help. Between the two of us, we managed to take out a few nests and find the vamp that was responsible for the all the turnings lately.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it. I feel better knowing my baby has a strong man helping her,” Joyce replied with a smile on her face.

The next night Joyce decided to step things up a bit. “I was wondering if you’d met anyone interesting on campus. I hate to think of you alone, Buffy. I do want you to find someone. I know it isn’t easy being the Slayer, but that doesn’t mean you can’t date.”

“Nah, I mean sure, there are some cute guys at school. But how do I explain having to run out of a restaurant because I see a vamp or demon killing someone across the street? Plus, a lot of guys really don’t like it when the girl is stronger than them.” Buffy gave a sigh at the thought of being alone for the rest of her life.

“Well, maybe the problem is that you can’t date ordinary guys. You need someone who understands your world, someone as strong as you, and who enjoys the fight as much as you do.”

Joyce kissed her daughter goodnight and hoped she’d planted the seeds in her mind.

A few nights later, Joyce decided to push a little more. “Hi, honey, how was your day?”

“Not bad, patrol is going to be tough tonight. Spike heard there’s some new demon in town that wants to open the Hellmouth. We’re going to try to stop him tonight and make sure he can’t try again.”

“Spike is going with you, right?” Joyce asked with concern in her voice.

“Yeah, we figured between the two of us, we should be able to take the demon out.” Buffy assured her mother.

“Well that’s good to hear. It makes me happy knowing you have someone who understands these threats and who is strong enough to help you. Plus, we know how much Spike likes to fight.” Joyce laughed.

“Mom, are you trying to set me up with Spike?”

“Well, yes, yes I am. I know he has feelings for you. Plus, he is everything I would like to see in a man for you. But what do you think?”

Finally Buffy admitted that she liked him, he was smart and funny, and that she wouldn’t mind going out on a date with him.

Buffy told her mom that she could see that Spike had changed from when he’d first come to town. He seemed sincere about wanting to help, and it was actually great having someone just as strong to patrol with. He’d become friends with Tara and Anya, helping the girls fit into the group as much as they helped him. He was smart, even helping Giles research, and had even been nice to Xander. Amazingly, the two had started playing pool at the Bronze two nights a week. 

Joyce smiled to herself as Buffy told her about these events. Now she just needed to put the final plan into action. 

The next time Spike came over, Joyce started talking about how much Buffy used to love ice skating and how she hadn’t gone in years. Joyce suggested that Spike take her skating. 

“Joyce, your daughter isn’t going to want to go skatin’ with me. Evil vamp, remember?” 

“Not so evil.” Joyce poked his ribs and handed him a tea towel so he could help her dry the dinner dishes. “Spike, trust me - just ask her, okay? Do it for me?”

Grumbling, “Okay, for you - only for you, the things I do...” Spike left to find the Slayer. He found her in Restfield cemetery taking on some big nasty demon. When she spotted Spike, she tossed him a weapon and between the two of them the demon was dead in minutes. 

Spike stepped back, lighting up a cigarette and looking at Buffy as the moon glinted off her hair. Really, she was worth the risk. What other girl came with a demon killing package, really got into her carnage, and still looked stunning with blood on her chin? “Do you want to go skating with me tomorrow?” Spike blurted out.

Buffy was shocked and didn’t answer right away because she was thinking a mile a minute. Sure, she knew her friends kind of liked Spike and they were starting to trust him. But how would dating Spike go over with them? Wait, why do I need their permission? Xander has Anya, an ex-demon. Willow had Oz and now Tara. They never asked me for permission. And let’s not even think about Mom and Giles and the badness of cursed candy bars. Those images were still burned into her brain.

“Never mind was a silly idea anyway,” Spike said as he turned to go. As the time had dragged on, Spike grew more nervous. Stupid idea, he’d thought, she doesn’t want to go out with me. What in the world was I thinking? I never should’ve listened to Joyce about this.

“Spike, wait! I would love to go skating with you tomorrow,” Buffy answered hurriedly.

Spike’s smile lit up his whole face. “Pick you up tomorrow at six, Slayer,” he said as he jumped over a tombstone and left the cemetery. 

~The End~


End file.
